'it's a bug'

Ughhhh… I don’t fucking feel well :(…
My head, stomach, sinuses, and body hurt.
I’m freezing, but sweating with a fever averaging 101.
and I’m starving, but feel so fucking nauseous that I can’t eat… and it’s all really starting to annoy me. Everybody’s had this ‘bug’, theirs lasted 24 hours, mine’s still going. They didn’t have a cough or sinuses or a head ache… I do. I fucking hate my immune system!

I’m whiney, needy, clingy, and dramatic when I’m sick, and I’m actually starting to annoy myself. My eyes won’t stay open for more that about 2 minutes, and my legs feel like they’re being crushed. If I lay on my back, I stop breathing; literally, because it feels like my chest is being crushed in by 10 thousand fucking cars, all condensed into one giant block! And to top it off I’m PMSing like a son of a bitch!

So, I’ve decided to make two lists. One of what you can, and are encouraged to do, and one of which you are discouraged from doing, and will probably be killed for doing. Along with a bit of a rant about when doctors say ‘it’s a bug’ or ‘give it time’ and what not.

LISTS
GOOD
~ sending Tori a box of delicious MILK chocolates for when she gets better. *remember, I’m allergic so make it small amounts :D*
~ send me some beautiful, FRESH roses. *either in a nice, plastic wrap or a funky vase ;)*
~ bring me some freaking yummy home made chicken noodle soup. *little or no pepper… and a bay leaf for flavoring please :)* with crackers please.
~ get me some yummy popsicles *grape and cherry are my favorite… and no sugar free shit, those taste funky*
~ get me a get well card or something simple just to make me smile :) *what can I say, my face hurts from not smiling*
~ a sweet little get well message ;) *hint, hint* :P
~ anything else you THINK I’ll like…

BAD
+ don’t say stupid things, ignorant things, arrogant things, or just plain rude things.
+ don’t call me names, make fun of me for being stupid, or act like an ass because you find my misery fucking hilarious.
+ don’t expect me to have a witty answer, a smart answer or an answer in general
+ don’t cause my eyes to bleed because I read your stupidity, that annoys me when I’m not sick.
+ ignore the fact I’m whiney, clingy, needy and what not, and just make me feel better.
+ DON’T tell me that I’m whiney, clingy or needy – that’ll just make Tori angry
+ also, don’t say anything negative or even positive about me talking in the third person, it annoys me already, pointing it out will just make me aggressive.
+ ignore me if I’m being a bitch, I’m not doing it on purpose

… but most of all, just love me!...
I will apologize for something, be convinced I’m dying, and insist you listen to my last words to you… just accept it, don’t go on and on about how I’m not going to die… I’m stupid when I’m sick and over emotional.


<~RANT~>
Okay – so when I go to the doctor, I want an answer to why I’m sick… normal right? Well, telling me ‘it’s a bug’, even just mentioning the word BUG is an annoyance enough, but when you can’t give me an answer to what it is. When you tell me, it’ll go away on it’s own… THAT pisses me off. And not so much when you’re telling me as me, but when you’re telling me as a PARENT. I want answers. My babies are sick, and you’re talking about fucking bugs. What kind of bug? Ant, cockroach, mosquito? What the fuck is it.

You went to school for how many? Eight years? And you can’t give me an answer. Common symptoms do NOT help, and telling me it usually goes away after so long doesn’t make me feel better. I want results, not stupid answers I could’ve come up with by myself at home! You’re a fucking doctor, it’s your job to help me, not give me some answer because you simply don’t know.

I’d rather hear you don’t know what’s wrong than for you to give me an answer that I get every time I’m sick. Last time I ended up hospitalized with phnemonia you told ME that. My son ended up hospitalized for his lungs not functioning properly… YOU TOLD ME IT WAS A BUG!

And I swear, any doctor ever tells me ‘…you know…’ again, I swear to Jahova, I’m going to go postal. I’m not even joking. NO, I don’t fucking know, educate me! You’re the one that went to school to be able to take care of this issue!!! You bastard!
< / RANT >


_{~+~keep in mind, that I am sick, so if this is distorted and doesn’t make sense, it’s not my fault… blame the fever!~+~}